Don’t Give Into Cynicism & Pessimism
Recently, I watched the Rich Roll Podcast featuring the beloved Rainn Wilson (aka Dwight Schrute from The Office) as he promoted his new book, Soul Boom. The episode tackled a verity of important subjects surrounding mental health, spirituality, religion, and more. However, I found the part about cynicism to be the most impactful to me, and here's why.
(Watch from 1:24:30 - 1:27:50) - Or watch the whole episode, its great!
After watching this episode, I looked back at my past and realized how cynical and pessimistic I was (and still am to a degree) as far back as I can remember. I sat down and questioned myself why this was the case, and here are two things I found.
Environment Shapes Perspective, People Shape Environment
Firstly, it's the people. Humans are social creatures, and we have evolved to be so over millions of years of evolution. We thrive on social interactions, cooperation, and bonds. Our evolution as a species has been characterized by the development of complex social systems and structures, which gave us a massive advantage over other species and propelled us to the top of the pyramid. However, this same advantage can become a significant disadvantage, given the wrong context and circumstances. The people you surround yourself with can and will have a large, cascading impact on your life (and the answer is not a hut in the woods).
As social creatures, we learn, act, react, and more based on the people surrounding us, particularly during our early, impressionable, and vulnerable years. If we don't recognize this and work through it, it can lead to internal decay that may seep into other areas of our lives as adults.
Here's an example: I grew up as an immigrant in an immigrant neighborhood, attending an immigrant school and being surrounded by immigrants. We all came from similar poor socio-economic backgrounds, which meant that all the adults around us had similar mindsets towards things. Their mindset was that struggle, pain, and suffering were good, while enjoying, having fun, and relaxing were bad. I don't blame them because that's all they knew. Growing up in this environment made me cynical towards everything. I saw the adults around me working 12-15 hours a day and having no fun or relaxation. I couldn't see the point in that, they worked so hard but only got food and a roof over their heads as a reward. I recognized the privilege of having those things, but couldn't understand the point of it all. They never got to enjoy anything in life; they were living to work and working to live.
Growing up in that environment, my pessimistic brain convinced me that the only way out of this stupid cycle was to work really really hard, make lots of money, and then relax………I'm pretty sure that's EXACTLY what the adults thought, too. Now they're 70 years old, have lots of money, but terrible health conditions, and they're not relaxing; they're just waiting to die.
Cynicism usually starts with the people around you, so it's important to surround yourself with the right people. Instead of using the term 'super optimistic,' I prefer to use 'right' because there's a huge difference between them. The 'right' people will recognize both the good and bad parts of life, understand them, and help you work through them. On the other hand, some people who are overly optimistic may wear 'rose-colored glasses' or be 'Pollyannaish,' and tend to ignore or suppress problems and emotions, only seeing the good in life. This approach isn't healthy or beneficial in working through cynicism and pessisim.
I recognize how difficult it can be to find the "right" people and that we may stumble along the way, but it's important to remember that building these relationships is a lifelong process and not something that should be rushed. You're not running out of time. Meaningful and beautiful relationships can be built at any age. Keep seeking and you shall receive.
Negativity Molds You And Holds You
Secondly, don’t let negative experiences define you and hold you hostage. When I was in third grade, I chose Bengali as my third language. I was super excited about it and learned to read and write it before everyone else in my class. I always received A's or A+'s on my small tests, and I was feeling great. However, when midterms came along, I studied hard and did my best on the test, but I received a C-. I was shocked, and so was everyone around me. I went to my teacher and asked her why I did so poorly. She explained that because I was so far ahead of everyone else in the class, she had graded me very strictly and deducted points for every little mistake, thinking it would make me a better student by being more careful and working harder. Unfortunately, that strategy completely backfired, and I lost all interest in that class. I failed every test in that class after that, and my teacher had to grade me very leniently to push me to a passing grade of E or D-. As a result, I never learned to read or write Bengali, and I developed test anxiety for the rest of my life. Even if I studied really hard and felt confident about a test, I always thought I did terrible. This negative experience had turned into a self-fulfilling prophecy
Negative experiences often have a stronger impact on us than positive experiences. This is understandable from an evolutionary perspective; if you enter a cave and almost get bitten by a snake that could kill you, it's more important to remember that danger than the positive pleasant swim you had in a pond. Negative experiences can be valuable tools for teaching us important lessons. It's important not to ignore them, but to work through them, learn from them, and ultimately move on from them. It's crucial not to get stuck in the cycle of a self-fulfilling prophecy.
This idea of "what's the point, we're all doomed anyway" is exactly what "they"1 want you to think. Don't give into cynicism and pessimism because if you do, they win. I used to have this thought process of "why exercise and take care of yourself when we're all going to get old and die one day?" But the truth is, we may be dying, but we're not dead yet.
This is a documentary that tells the story of a man's personal growth through his obsession with surfing the biggest wave in the world. The film is excellently edited and deviates from the typical “Netflix” documentary style. It focuses on raw storytelling rather than using too many fluffs. If you're a video storyteller or an editor, it's a great example of how to achieve good pacing and keep the audience engaged with minimal fluffs. The documentary allows the characters to carry the story rather than relying on post-production fluff.
Thank you for taking the time to read this week's SOWT. As I continue to grow as a person and writer, I am experimenting with different styles and formats to learn what works best for me. I recently took a hiatus from work, but I believe it was necessary for my personal and professional development. Thanks to the random readers from Colorado, New York, and New Jersey haha!
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"They" is referring to any and all bad energy present in the world, including people, institutions, and even your own thoughts.